Tagpersonal growth

So You Want to be Famous?

3 Min read

I have to ask….Why?

As a father of two teenage daughters I frequently hear their friends and them state somthing akin to “I just want to do something to be famous..”  I cringe every time I hear it because they envision a life of glitz, glamour, and glory….I see a life of discontent, decadence, and diversions.

Jesus was arguably the most famous person to live;  almost 2000 years later his name is known throughout the world. We celebrate holidays dedicated to his life and death (and ressurection). Fame itself is not the problem, it’s how we get there lately that’s wrong.

Too many young people are striving for fame for fame’s sake alone.  Fame for fame’s sake guaruntees one to never be content with enough fame. I’m convinced the famous will not be through seeking until they pass that one in front of them with more album sales, more money per movie, the most awards, wins….

Fame by the worlds standards, especially by United States standards is rooted in decadence. We have young ladies famous only for the devience they gained attention for.  They’ve reached a goal, but at what cost?  With the exception of very few who obtained fame through a narrow business or humanitarian niche the cost to the individual and our culture is just too high. (more…)

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Truthfulness

2 Min read

Arrogant [Eloquent] lips are unsuited to a fool
how much worse lying lips to a ruler! Proverbs 17:5-7 (NIV)

Truthfulness is an elusive habit for leaders.  We are assaulted daily by situations that beg for lies, half-truths, misinformation, deception, and withholding.  These situations arise at work from difficult communication, positions of disadvantage to us, and fear of retribution.  Within our families they arise from personal pride toward spouses, fear of children’s actions, and discomfort with admitting to wrong actions.

The mad boss asks, “Who made this decision?”
The Christian brother states, “I’m only flirting with her, I can control it.”
The inefficient employee asks, “Am I doing ok working for you?”
The spouse demands, “Where did all of our money go?”
Your child asks, “Where do babies come from?”

A Christian Leader’s response:

1.  Just tell it. The benefits of truthfulness outweigh the costs in the long run as your boss learns to appreciates your trust and candor, your spouse loves the open communication, and your children model.  Warning, blunt truthfulness will mark you as a jerk and harm your ability to influence.  Use gentleness and patience to form your communication in a way that creates an environment of appreciation.

2.  Demand it in return. My initial briefing to new employees has always included the requirement of truth.  My nature I am a trusting person, tell me something and I take it to the bank until that something is proven false.  Once you lose my trust it’s hard to get it back.   My daughters were raised with the same requirement.  I marvel at parents who severely discipline children based on honest disclosure.  Since birth we have demanded truth and lessened discipline with it.  The result, open communication… something seemingly rare in today’s youth.

To be persuasive we must be believable; to be believable we must be credible; credible we must be truthful. Edward R. Murrow

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Julius Erving Quotes

1 Min read

“Being a professional is doing the things you love on the days you don’t feel like doing them.”

“If you don’t do what’s best for your body, you’re the one who comes up on the short end.”

“The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life – mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical.”

“To be great we need to win games we aren’t supposed to win.”

“I firmly believe that respect is a lot more important, and a lot greater, than popularity.”

“Goals determine what you’re going to be.”

“I had to spend countless hours, above and beyond the basic time, to try and perfect the fundamentals.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julius_Erving

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List of Ten Trust Behaviors

1 Min read
  1. Communicate. Clearly let others know what you and they can expect
  2. Listen. Listen more than you talk
  3. Follow-through.  Keep your promises and expectations
  4. Own-up.  When you or a subordinate fall short take personal accountability
  5. Trust.  You have to trust others for them to trust you
  6. Respect.  Respect others regardless of their position
  7. WYSIWYG.  Be a what you see is what you get person
  8. Loyalty.  Be loyal to others and they will trust you
  9. Empathize.  Good or bad put yourself in their shoes
  10. Recognize.  Remember the small thing
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Prepare for the Warrior

1 Min read

There comes a point in everyone’s life when they determine the veracity of their character.  Some may think they know, but not until pressed by hardship, fear or heartache will they really know.  All other times are spent in preparation.  When the moment of trial comes will you be irrelevant, expendable, a fighter, or a warrior?

“Out of every 100 men, ten shouldn’t even be there, Eighty are just targets, Nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle. Ah, but the one, one is a warrior, and he will bring the others back.” – Hericletus, circa 500 BC

Prepare to be a fighter and the leader will become a warrior when most needed.  Anything less is a wasted opportunity to matter.

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The Boyfriend Driving Test

4 Min read

It’s usually a truck or sometimes an older car.  The inside of the vehicles are decorated with a mixture of ironic photographs and/or action figures.  The drivers are the same mixture of common individuality, sporting spotty facial hair, trendy clothing (or sloppy), and a forced expression of interest. And I’m supposed to be good with placing one of my prized possessions into their care.

If you’re the father of teenage girls you are familiar with the struggle, if your daughters are too young to date you will be familiar.  The struggle we all face is how to balance the inevitability of dating with the honest desire to never let your precious girl out of the house…ever.  My solution:  the boyfriend driving test.

Before a new boy can take responsibility for my daughter’s safety they must pass a no kiddin’ driver’s test during which the boy and I (alone) drive a test route complete with turns, merges, highway driving, and attention tests.  The driving is really a secondary goal, primarily the test accomplishes several, things chief among them:  let the boy know who i am (I’m pretty big but that doesn’t matter), that I care deeply for my daughters, and to give me a platform for “the talk.”  The driver test goes down like this:

  1. Meet the boy and get in the passenger seat making a big show of buckling the safety belt.  NOTE:  If the boy doesn’t get out of the vehicle to meet you make sure to point that out.
  2. Explain the route and what you expect out of the test…start driving
  3. Start with small talk and see how distracted they are…what do you do? are you in athletics? do you go to church? etc.
  4. Halfway through the test start with the harder questions:  Do you drink alcohol? Do your friends? How do you treat girls?
  5. Right before the end of the test, when he is really starting to squirm, start “the talk.”  You will know how to craft your talk, mine goes something like this:

“[Boy] I want you to know something, my daughter is precious to me, I take great pride in her and her safety.  Throughout her life I have taken the awesome responsibility for her safety very seriously.  When you pick her up I am transferring that responsibility temporarily to you, I expect you to take the responsibility as seriously as I do.  If you’re thinking you have to do something to impress her stop that thinking, she is already impressed or she wouldn’t have agreed to a date.  There is no need to speed, peel out, or take curves too fast.  Most people like to go the speed limit plus 5 mph because the police give a cushion…I expect the opposite, drive 2-5 mph UNDER the speed limit.

You will tell me where you are going and what you are doing, if you deviate from your schedule I expect a call from you.  You will return her to the house exactly on time unless you have to speed to get her there.  If you will be late you will call and let me know,  and I will give you a grace period so you do not have to speed to get her home.

[NOTE:  The severity of this next part depends on how much of a jerk the boy seems to be] Should you not take your safety responsibility seriously and put my daughter at risk or God forbid hurt her, I will not be happy and you WILL suffer the wrath of my displeasure.”

I’ve never failed a boy during the driving test but have come close.  My favorite statement during a test so far is, “My mom is very strict on my driving, this is only the third time she has let me drive on the highway alone.”  These types of statements don’t inspire confidence, but with the right focus during “the talk” will help mitigate concerns, but they will never go away.

It’s important to note that my daughters say they hate the boyfriend driving test, but it’s apparent they love that I care enough to keep them safe.  When a boy asks them out they know to inform them about the driving test.  They have figured out that the ones who refuse to take it are not boy’s they want to be with…

Good luck and I will pray for you.

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You’re the Greatest

1 Min read

A man died and met Saint Peter at the gates of heaven.  Recognizing the saint’s knowledge and wisdom, he wanted to ask him a question. “Saint Peter,” he said, “ I have been interested in military history for many years. Tell me, who was the greatest general of all times?”

Peter quickly responded, “O, that is a simple question. It’s that man right over there.”

The man looked where Peter was pointing and answered, “You must be mistaken. I knew that man on earth, and he was just a common laborer.”

“That’s right,” Peter remarked, “But he would have been the greatest general of all time- if he had been a general.”

– Mark Twain

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