Leader for Christ

About an hour into my four hour journey home on Wednesday March 10, 2009, it occurred to me that the clothes on my back and the few things in my truck were what I had.  My thinking changed from “How bad is it?” to “What’s the recovery plan?” to “What did I have in that house?” More slowly than you might think an understanding of the situation crept up on me:  we were going to be starting at zero.

It began with the emergency call code from Angie to me.  [ NOTE:  If you don't have one of these I recommend it.  When I'm in a meeting or otherwise unavailable at work  I press "ignore" when she calls which sends her call immediately to voicemail.  She then redials and I know to answer because it's an emergency.]  During my Wednesday morning meeting in Austin I answered to hear that our house (in Merkel) was on fire.  Considering the situation she was surprisingly calm, frantic yes…but definitely not hysterical.  Once the front windows broke and flames with smoke rushed from the house we both knew it was best for Angie to go next door to her parent’s home and wait instead of watch.  As she was walking in I could hear through the phone the horns blowing for firefighters to evacuate and let it burn.

The fire department was on the scene within minutes of Angie’s call to 911.  We found out later someone passing the house had called earlier so they got a head start.  Even with the quick response there was nothing that could be done.  Our house burned from a mix of accidental ignition of a heat source warming the dogs and 35 mph (with gusts to 50) winds.  Even with seemingly initial success in controlling the blaze, the fire and wind created a blow torch effect that would require more water to extinguish than the two Merkel trucks and seven Abilene trucks could possibly pump.  The responders fought until exhausted and made the correct choice to retreat, there wasn’t one thing in the house worth even an injury.  Thank you to the Merkel VFD and Abilene FD for their efforts, you just can’t beat nature.

I have thanked God every day for Amie’s presence at our house on that day.  She only periodically helps Angie clean the house but without screaming for Angie to come downstairs when she saw the smoke, Angie would have been in the shower on the second floor and endangered at best.  I’m thankful Angie didn’t open the door to the back porch where the blaze was raging, the wind would have certainly blown the flames into her and Amie and I would be typing this from the hospital  She could have thought she could save the dogs (they got out anyway) or put the fire out with her kitchen extinguisher (too late for that) but she had the presence of mind under pressure to just evacuate.

The community of Merkel is phenomenal…I will certainly write more on this in the coming weeks, we would not be as strong right now without the hundreds of our friends and neighbors who showed up to help.

Service to community and help to fallen comrades are tenets so engrained in the ethos of the Texas Army National Guard that we were almost overwhelmed with support.  It took direct orders and a promise of future help to keep these Great Americans away.  I will always be grateful to God for the blessing of working with such a great organization.

So we find ourselves at zero.  Even with the donations of clothes and essentials from the community we still can fit our earthly possessions into the back of my truck.  We have always talked big talk that we don’t put any stock on earthly things but the talk falls flat when we actually lose everything.    An inventory runs in our minds of all the things we lost…

It’s not so much the loss of stuff that causes sadness but the loss of the memories connected to the stuff.  We are saddened to think of losing Angie’s wedding ring, wedding dress, childhood doll “Susie,” cookbook collection, and high school cheer uniforms (into which she still fit!); Chelsea’s impressive collection of books, cheer and dance gear, senior scrapbook, and American Girl dolls; Chera’s sports medals, cheer gear, scrapbooks, snow globe collection, and artwork; The Bible I carried through combatin Iraq and my Jeep (it’s a jeep thing you wouldn’t understand) [Note:  Monkey is safely secured at my parent's house because my mother rightfully decided years ago I wasn't responsible enough to have him yet] .

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust [and fire] destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust [and fire] do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.” Matthew 6:19-20 (NIV)

On Wednesday night we had a family meeting in our hotel room to discuss the importance of the day.  I believe that with every life changing event there WILL BE change.  It’s up to us to make it positive.  After a family hug we all confirmed that stuff didn’t matter and our memories will survive without the stuff.  More importantly, we had each other.

The GREAT thing is we are only at zero in terms of possessions.  We are blessed beyond description in so many other ways.

• We still have treasures in heaven by the grace of God through Jesus Christ
• Our family has never been closer and each are stronger
• We live in the greatest community in the world
• I work for an organization dedicated to service to others
• Starting at zero gives us the unique opportunity to rebuild with focus on what’s REALLY important

We are thankful and at peace…Shalowm

It’s usually a truck or sometimes an older car.  The inside of the vehicles are decorated with a mixture of ironic photographs and/or action figures.  The drivers are the same mixture of common individuality, sporting spotty facial hair, trendy clothing (or sloppy), and a forced expression of interest. And I’m supposed to be good with placing one of my prized possessions into their care.

If you’re the father of teenage girls you are familiar with the struggle, if your daughters are too young to date you will be familiar.  The struggle we all face is how to balance the inevitability of dating with the honest desire to never let your precious girl out of the house…ever.  My solution:  the boyfriend driving test.

Before a new boy can take responsibility for my daughter’s safety they must pass a no kiddin’ driver’s test during which the boy and I (alone) drive a test route complete with turns, merges, highway driving, and attention tests.  The driving is really a secondary goal, primarily the test accomplishes several, things chief among them:  let the boy know who i am (I’m pretty big but that doesn’t matter), that I care deeply for my daughters, and to give me a platform for “the talk.”  The driver test goes down like this:

1. Meet the boy and get in the passenger seat making a big show of buckling the safety belt.  NOTE:  If the boy doesn’t get out of the vehicle to meet you make sure to point that out.
2. Explain the route and what you expect out of the test…start driving
3. Start with small talk and see how distracted they are…what do you do? are you in athletics? do you go to church? etc.
4. Halfway through the test start with the harder questions:  Do you drink alcohol? Do your friends? How do you treat girls?
5. Right before the end of the test, when he is really starting to squirm, start “the talk.”  You will know how to craft your talk, mine goes something like this:

“[Boy] I want you to know something, my daughter is precious to me, I take great pride in her and her safety.  Throughout her life I have taken the awesome responsibility for her safety very seriously.  When you pick her up I am transferring that responsibility temporarily to you, I expect you to take the responsibility as seriously as I do.  If you’re thinking you have to do something to impress her stop that thinking, she is already impressed or she wouldn’t have agreed to a date.  There is no need to speed, peel out, or take curves too fast.  Most people like to go the speed limit plus 5 mph because the police give a cushion…I expect the opposite, drive 2-5 mph UNDER the speed limit.

You will tell me where you are going and what you are doing, if you deviate from your schedule I expect a call from you.  You will return her to the house exactly on time unless you have to speed to get her there.  If you will be late you will call and let me know,  and I will give you a grace period so you do not have to speed to get her home.

[NOTE:  The severity of this next part depends on how much of a jerk the boy seems to be] Should you not take your safety responsibility seriously and put my daughter at risk or God forbid hurt her, I will not be happy and you WILL suffer the wrath of my displeasure.”

I’ve never failed a boy during the driving test but have come close.  My favorite statement during a test so far is, “My mom is very strict on my driving, this is only the third time she has let me drive on the highway alone.”  These types of statements don’t inspire confidence, but with the right focus during “the talk” will help mitigate concerns, but they will never go away.

It’s important to note that my daughters say they hate the boyfriend driving test, but it’s apparent they love that I care enough to keep them safe.  When a boy asks them out they know to inform them about the driving test.  They have figured out that the ones who refuse to take it are not boy’s they want to be with…

Good luck and I will pray for you.